So on with it. A few weeks ago I went to lunch with my dear friend Super Mommy. Scooter was with me being her usual cuteness self, casually stuffing a peanut butter sandwich in her mouth, when a lady comes up to bask in the aura of said cuteness. Then this woman said, quite possibly, one of the worst things you can ever say to a woman. She asked Super Mommy if she was the 
grandmother. OH NO SHE DI-IN'T! Ok, let me paint a little picture here. Yes, Super Mommy is older than me, but not by much and seriously looks about seven years younger then her real age. So we both laughed off the incident. Truthfully, I was still giggling on the way home, but also because I started thinking of all the things that have been said to me in the past that pissed me off and/or gave me a little chuckle. Here's a list...
grandmother. OH NO SHE DI-IN'T! Ok, let me paint a little picture here. Yes, Super Mommy is older than me, but not by much and seriously looks about seven years younger then her real age. So we both laughed off the incident. Truthfully, I was still giggling on the way home, but also because I started thinking of all the things that have been said to me in the past that pissed me off and/or gave me a little chuckle. Here's a list... - You look like you're going to pop any minute! This one got so old during my pregnancy that at one point I said, "Yeah, all over your face." I know, so classy. This one goes right along with the "You must be carrying twins" gem.
- Are you wearing that? Yeah hubs, I am. I'm bloated thanks to Aunt Flo and there's no way in hell I'm squeezing this fat ass into a pair of Spanx. If you tell me I'm pretty, you might climb your way out of the no nooky hole. Especially if you buy me a Hershey Bar.
- Are you breastfeeding? Response: Sure am, want some? Inappropriateness breeds inappropriateness.
- You look... different. Standard response from the hubs whenever I get my hair done. Joke's on you, I just spent $150.00 to look "different."
- Here, let me demonstrate our product. I'm specifically talking about those annoying sales people at the mall hocking those nail buffing kits. First, don't touch me. Second, I'm pushing a toddler in a stroller. Do you really think I have time to do my nails? See, they're trimmed and clear of the poo I just got in them changing my toddler in the mall bathroom. That's about as close to a manicure as I'm getting lady.
- Did you get me anything? Another gem from the hubs. Nope, I gave you 24 hours notice to put anything you wanted on the grocery list. Pepsi and chips means Pepsi and chips. It does not mean Pepsi, chips, Slim Jims, underwear, pork chops, Call of Duty, hot dogs, ice cream, Little Debbies, socks, motor oil, shotgun shells, deodorant, and those "watcha call it things you got me a few weeks ago that I really liked."
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